Friday, December 6, 2013

THE WEEK IN RETROSPECT


Keira Knightley may or may not have recycled her wedding dress! This makes me all the more determined to have a small wedding with a practical “gown” that I too can recycle! Are you taking notes Kim?




Speaking of, you guys have seen LaChapelle’s latest in celebrity kitsch pop surrealism photoshoots, yeah? Presenting the $250,000 Kardashian Krismas hard aka KKK(I can’t believe I went there yet these guys are well known lovers of our dark skinned brothers. Or as Kanye would have you believe, they revolutionized interracial dating by setting a precedent! Aaaah Yeezus, never change!)




So this happened. And we have the visionary LaChapelle  (wonder if he’s part of DONDA?) to thank for. Apparently he wanted just the women – no kids or guys, but Bruce and Kourtney were having none of this. I don’t even understand why Bruce bothered? It was a mockery of him! Trapping him in a glass tube BEHIND a grinning Kris while he gazes desperately at a medal sporting mannequin of Becks?!? (That is the de-limbed H&M mannequin of underwear model David Beckham, isn’t it?) You can’t pay me enough for this crap!



The photoshop ahem, post shoot editing, ahem, this kard underwent too is just on DONDA levels! I mean, can anyone explain why Kim has no armpit and one of her hips is higher than the other? Also did they drag Louis Bullock into this crayfest? That black baby behind Becks looks weirdly familiar. And the other representations of babies strewn allover this do nothing to evoke the nativity spirit. Seriously, compared to last year’s card? This was way way off the mark! Kylie’s side eye and Mason’s “over it” pose are just about the only things right with this!



Makes these not look so bad huh? Last years was actually downright festive!







Also, Rosie Hungtington Whitely might have worn my favorite pantsuit to date! That fact that its of a similar colour palette as this, my favorite red carpet outfit is telling me a lot about my taste! And no, it’s not the same designer. Rosie’s suit is by Antonio Berardi while Diane’s gown is a Prabal Gurung creation.

I finally watched Catching Fire! And while I haven’t read the books so I can’t say for certain how much of Gale’s part was cut and how much of it is Liam just being a nonstarter for me, I can safely say I don’t understand why he gets top billing!!! Over President Snow? And Haymitch? And Effie Trinket? And Cenna!?! You guys! Gale’s total screen time is 5 minutes for the entire movie!



So after the movie I was complaining to my date why he was the 3rd headline star instead of say Finnick and he told me Liam Hemsworth has star power!!! I’m sorry, Star power? For what, The Last Song?!? Let’s be honest here, that’s his biggest movie before he got the Hunger games franchise. So if said franchise is the source of his star power but in movie 1 he appeared for 3 minutes and in movie 2 he just got 120 seconds extra, I’m confused. Let’s just come right out and admit we project our adoration for Chris Hemsworth on to him and be done with it! (Also, if someone can convince Papa Hemsworth to become a sperm donor … that’d be awesome!)

To wrap this up, following on the heels of her nyccs win and being certified the most reblogged actress on tumblr, J.Law might be in for the Anne Hathaway treatment. Vulture recently published an article on whether she might be Katniss-ing us! I remember commenting on this with a friend a few months back how she was just a bit too relatable you know? Like you get relatable and make it the most relatable relatable that relatable can be and you get J.Law! Seems I wasn’t alone in thinking some clever PR is had at work. That said, I don’t think she’ll ever get to Anne Hathaway levels of annoying! So rest easy Katniss and carry on, we’ll still love you!

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