Wednesday, April 24, 2013

I want whatever Johnny Depp is on

I desperately wanted to put this pic up alongside one of my 1st year room at college with its Johnny Depp poster-plastered walls back when I was warm for his form and Edward Scissorhands was a regular in my fantasies. (Looking back I don't know how I managed to conjure up those cuddling sessions with a guy who had scissors for hands. Either I had very naive fantasies or very S&M ones, regardless, I can't go back to this place now and 2013 Johnny Depp isn't helping!)

The shirt is the only thing not riddled with holes and even that seems to have been trimmed at the bottom!!!

That jacket! Those pants! The fedora that looks like the mouse that lives in the hair nest atop his head chewed its way out! The bandanas (plural)! I can't understand the preparation that goes into looking like this! Does he have a slew of homeless buddies that he swaps his designer duds with on the way to functions so he can seem more down to earth? Does he do it because he's out of change and feels bad leaving them with nothing so he tells them selling clothes fresh off his back on ebay will earn them a mini fortune and take them off the streets for ever? But that doesn't explain the necklaces, whats with the necklaces??? I need to understand what happened to the Johnny Winona and I loved.

And speaking of celebs clearly TTH and going OTT with their shtick ... I had promised myself never to blog about Kim because...where to start? where to end? P calls Tarantino her celebrity shame fuck, because she loves his mind and hates his smug self. Kim is my celebrity shame blog, I don't want to even know whatever she's up to but if I see any article about her that even looks like 0.00000000001% interesting, I'll read it. *weeps for humanity*
Please help me understand, is someone really your friend if they tell you you look good in this? I'm sure the rest of the Kardsahians let get loose like this so they would look that much more better in the pics by comparison

Are the two newly discovered habitable planets located on Kim's chest?
I can't help it, Kim intentionally makes herself an easy target. If Jane Austen was the founder of game theory, Kim is the 21st century Simon Peter to her Jesus. She has her manipulative pseudo-clueless act down pat. She gets people talking about her without them wanting to talk about her. It's taking hate-watching KUWTK to another level!
Like whats up with the fact that her and Kanye already know the sex of their baby but always shop "all white or both" so they can keep people guessing! Both! You deliberately buy clothes you know your baby isn't going to wear just to keep people guessing?!? WHO DOES THAT?!? Seriously, who? You can online shop, or use a personal shopper you've made sign an NDA. Anything but buying clothes for the sake of "keeping people guessing"! Even Suri Cruise and Blue Ivy didn't put us through this nonsense! At the risk of sounding cliche to the point where even I'm giving myself serious side eye; there are starving people in Africa!!!

1 comment:

  1. Lmaaooo.Remember when Jonny Depp was untouchable? Now he is a laughing stock, sort of.Mid-life crisis is not a good look on any one. It's a wonder he even manages to leave the house,what with all the scarves, and rings etc. Also, I don't know why people call Kim K stupid. She should be a lecturer of Fame Whore,sorry,marketing studies at this rate! Off to have dirty dreams abt Tarantino. And then throw up after.Ugh.


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