Friday, February 8, 2013

The reason 70% of viewers tuned in to Super Bowl XLVII

I hope this isn’t too late in coming. Beyonce conquered the super bowl! Complete with power outage after her performance, and holographic treatment a la Tupac at last year's Coachella, and having a stylist fly in 300 bejeweled false nails for her back up dancers (if E!news is to be believed and y’all know I consider everything Juliana Rancic says about anyone to be gossip truth if not gospel!), and the worst kept secret of the year: Destiny’s Child Reunion!!!

And she did so minus any unnecessary costume changes, although if the fuggirls’ opinion matters (which it so very much does) she ought to have changed out of that leather Borat-adjacent piece into something, anything else, because apparently the lace bits down yonder looked like *ahem* overgrowth! And now I can’t unsee it! Thank you Heather!

"She is Fieeeeerce!" (in voice of that rando ANTM commentator )
Also, you guys, Bey has been working out! Don’t think I’ve ever seen her this toned!!! Its like all the liciousness has been worked out and we are left with the lean mean performing queen Sasha Fierce!

And in other slightly related news (although its kinda blasphemous of me to let this piggy back on Beyonce’s post. I’m sorry Queen Bey, no need to excommunicate me from the Beyhive yet) in the stuff of sartorial red carpet nightmares; Jack Donaghy’s new wife wore the same dress, to the same event, in the exact same colour(!!!) as model and John Legend’s bedroom acrobatics partner Chrissy Teigen , yes she of ANTM video game enactment episode. 
Picture this if you will, Mrs. Alec Baldwin 2.0 walks the NFL red carpet on the arm of her 26years older husband, inwardly gloating at the new designer clothes now at her disposal, only to find out year younger Chrissy is a leggier version of the same turquoise dress! Jack Donaghy or no Jack Donaghy you can't tell me girlfriend didn't think for a minute her stylist was conniving with Kim Bassinger. Is this new-wife-hazing? Is her stylist just oblivious? Is Hollywood trying to give her a complex? Can you even give a yoga instructor and part time Extra! correspondent a complex??? Am I over thinking everything and it was just a disastrous coincidence?

Who wore it best? I'm going with Hilaria here because she had the better arm candy accessories although TBH Chrissy had the better dress
It was a tough one, especially since both seem to have hilarious twitter accounts! Which is no news about Chrissy, but that Jack sure is the stuff of my fantasies!
Rock on, Hilaria and go on living the life that should rightfully be mine. But you guys, in all honesty, I think I should quit my day job and become a yoga instructor, what sayeth you?

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